dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
