When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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