I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
