you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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