You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
