You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
