I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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