He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
