We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
