So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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