He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
