Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
