WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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