hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
