He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
