My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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