Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
