so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
