I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
