one two three fourrrrnication!
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize