worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
