Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
