Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You're completely useless in the revolution.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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