I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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