Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
