I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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