I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
