I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
only you would photoshop your dick
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize
