I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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