I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
