HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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