As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
