Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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