well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We talked him into tasing himself.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You've changed since you got that strap on
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
