Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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