I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
