We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
