I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
