he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
