there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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