I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
