it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
