Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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