Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
