for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
