Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
