I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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