oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
