How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Acid is not a monday night drug
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
