it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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