Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
