I just pynch a tree in the face
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
