At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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