if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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