White coat. Heels.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
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My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
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I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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