You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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