so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Randomize